Not meant for me

The head on my shoulders can't look into anyone's eyes,
wish I was good at keeping my own disguise.
Patience is my best friend for a reason because it listens,
it never promised me anything, it never told me anything is missing.
There's a reason why I am skeptical for half of the things in this world,
there's a reason why I believe more in sweat and blood.
You put in the effort and reap the results of what you put in,
but there's always the oversight of fate the day you begin.
Can you beat what has been already written for you the day you were born?
Can you find your way to the place where you are meant to belong?
I wish I knew the answers to these question just like you did,
and unpack all the mysteries like gifts by a little kid.
In the end I'll do whatever can be done by me to make it align,
just do your part and hope everything is gonna be fine.

Tell Me

tell me how do you weave magic into every single day,

tell me how are you brighter than sunshine’s ray.

tell me why are you so cute than a melted marshmallow,

tell me why are you so understanding, its like moon’s midnight glow.

tell me what is the secret of our pointless funny banter,

tell me what is that we have, why do you matter.

tell me who should i tell all of this when you are the one i talk the most,

tell me who should i admire when you are serene as tropical coast.

Connection

you ask me to miss you while you’re gone,

i’ll let you know how i feel through this song.

it doesn’t matter if i’m a thousand miles away or just feet apart,

there’s always a leash on me, that syncs to the beat of your heart.

i miss you when you look away even for a moment, 

the connection we have is clearly godsend. 

if i see anyone who talks to you when i’m around, 

i start to feel jealous and my brain goes hell-bound.

there’s no worse feeling than knowing that you are supposed to go,

will i be ever to quantify my love? or will it be enough to show?

you say you’re selfish for keeping me hooked on you,

but that’s my call to make because i’m the one who’s loving you.

they say its better to avoid heartbreak and steer clear,

but i know you are quite the opposite because you’re not what i fear.

my fear lies in the absence of you, in not giving a shot of what we can be,

my fear lies in not seeing you everyday and setting my heart free.

I will be there

here i stand, with you standing on the other side of the sea,

i keep shouting that we are meant to be.

i know you hear me and i know you understand,

but you are too scared to even hold my hand.

i’ll make a bridge which connects to your soul,

a bridge for you and me to take a stroll.

I will be silent, I won’t scream out anymore, 

because I believe that we have good things in store,

for our future and for our present i’ll pray, 

above all this i pray that you stay.

my life was boring until you came with your essence,

everything you tell me always makes sense.

this is no magic but just a change in perspective,

you know what i’m saying and it needs no retrospective.

i keep you happy, you keep me sane, 

this is our equation till our mortal remains.

but now is not the time, or now is not the place,

i won’t hold you back, neither will i give up the chase.

i can live with regrets in my life, but not this one i can’t,

i want to be with you and hold your hand.

distance will be kept, don’t you worry about that,

i won’t do anything that messes with what you have.

i’ve been a quiet observer, i’ve lived in the shadows before,

but know that when you need me i’ll be right outside your door.

Pain

look at this face, do you see any emotions?

do you find any reason behind how this mind functions?

i’m a slave to my own design, a sucker for punishment,

looking in those alleys of life for the next detriment.

100 things make sense, i find the 1 which is not,

i will use all my day trying to make sense of that one thought.

welcome to this dysfunctional paradise of lost dreams,

don’t lose your way in here, you can hear all the muffled screams.

every now and then mind will find a reason to make you upset,

even though the thing has passed, i will never forget.

i will replay it in my mind a thousand times and once more, 

pick it apart like with surgical precision till there’s nothing more.

each of those pieces will be further examined and scrutinized,

till i find something wrong with another piece and feed my mind.

this process repeats till i see the light of another day,

and i have more days to screw up again.

Hope

just like we wait for the rain on a sweltering hot day, 

just like we wait for the medicines to take the pain away.

the wait of a better day is what makes the fruition worthy,

it is the hope that navigates us through days which are murky.

we all have places we want to be, we want to go,

bills to pay, work to do, calls to answer , feelings to show.

all this we do in the hope of a better tomorrow, 

a lesser burden, a day of lesser sorrow.

it’s not about the sorrow for all, some like the chaos within,

everyone is different, we don’t know what keeps everyone ticking.

it’s not about the end, its more about the journey, 

its the passion which drives us, which keeps burning.

Joker's ballad

while i’m stargazing at this time of night,

let me tell you that you are not out of sight.

you’re still on my mind, you are still in my heart,

there is no end to this because there is no start.

there is a storm brewing in me which you need to feel,

you might be scared to fall in my arms, but my resolve is of steel.

i will make you fall right in my arms for one whole hour,

i will caress you like you are the lightest flower.

there will be passion, there will be heat,

but there will be a symphony for when our lips meet.

there is no escape from my love coz it’s a maze,

its too late for you harley, now you’ve already entered the craze.

the card of the joker is now here to stay,

no matter if you keep it with you or not, it will play. 

Give up on you

i will not give up on you, not in a thousand years,

i know you’re strong enough, I won’t be the shoulder for your tears.

but let me tell you that you are the special to me in a 100 ways,

i will be there if you need release from those woeful days.

its your smile that i always look forward to make,

i will make you happy no matter how much effort does it take.

days are like weather they are bad once in a while,

but just like those bad weather they shouldn’t ruin your smile.

i know that feeling when you can’t shake off that vibe,

a little bit of me is what the doctor would prescribe.

i can’t feel your pain or can’t hear your mind,

wish there was a crystal ball, one which i’ve yet to find.

a certain helplessness engulfs me if i don’t feel your sadness,

coz i maybe am not that close to you and that starts the madness.

find your woes, find your nightmares dump it on me,

because under all the frustration is that smile we all wish to see.

Die in her arms

she has the radiance of the moon, and heat of the sun, 

the way she takes control, you will hand her the gun.

walking tall and high, she has no regrets, 

she’s all that you’ll see, an angel you never met. 

a glance of her is enough, a look is all you need, 

once you meet you want more, she’ll bring out your worst greed.

she will be loved, she will be respected, 

she deserves every good that her world has expected.

her presence is enough for me to be calm, 

i’d love to be by her side or die in her arms.

whenever I want to I wish I could see her, 

i wish i could bury all the problems beneath her.

make her days better even if it’s already good, 

i should be there for her to anticipate her mood.

she is beyond any letters, beyond any word,

trying to contain her in a song is purely absurd.

she will be loved, she will be respected, 

she deserves every good that her world has expected.

her presence is enough for me to be calm, 

i’d love to be by her side or die in her arms.

Unacceptable

I tried to make myself understand that everything has it's time,

but how long am I supposed to wait until you're mine.

Some said move on, some said to forget you,

as long as there's time we'll surely make it through. 

Staring quietly into the crowd hoping to see you there, 

my heart refuses to believe you won't look back, maybe I'm just scared.

I am patient from everything else but not for you,
what more do I need to do, what else do I need to prove.
Saying a lie a million times won't make it true,
I'm selfish like a baby, I don't want to lose you.

Fighting back my demons to accept what is the inevitable,
but the demons are not wrong, its what they are asking is unacceptable.
Like a good song I hum you every moment that i'm awake,
you keep me hooked on to you like a risk i should never take.
Someday I will stop roaming around like an aimless fool,
Someday I can say we're just friends and still be cool.

Don't leave me

I try to find a way to talk to you everyday,
I search for an excuse to meet you in any way.
You are all I have, you are all I seek,
you are what I dream of when I goto sleep.
I'll hold on to you till the last day I live,
all I have is love and love is what I'll give.

I'm broken from within, you can gather all the pieces,
look beyond my failures, look beyond my dirty creases.
Stitch me back together with your love, make me myself again,
be my morphine, be my drug, take away my pain.
If we've got this far, then I refuse to give up now,
all I need from you is to be there for me, don't leave me now.

Black

I'm so inviting, but you don't even see me coming,
I'm like a song, which you can't just stop humming.
I'm the absence of color, still I'm the best there is,
royal, classy, formal are some of the words I can be.

Absence is my presence, that is how I come into your eyes,
I'm visible when you are alive, and when someone dies.
I represent the devoid, I represent the wealthy,
I am the good, am I the bad? Maybe.
I'll steal your breath with fear or awe,
I'll be the best thing you never saw.
In the darkest night you will see me surround you,
I can help you disappear anything around you.
I'm shrouded in mystery, there's nothing you can take from me,
I don't want anything from you, just acceptance of my being.

Silence

I've been quiet for too  long now,
how am I supposed to tell you I don't know.
I can't see you cry, I can't see you stumble,
I will be there to help you if you ever fumble.
Let me wipe that tear off before it falls on the floor,
I will hug you into eternity till it hurts no more.

I've been silent coz I know it's not my place to say,
I've had enough of you being hurt, I'll make the pain go away.
I don't care what people say or what they think,
I will bring down an empire for you or make a ship sink.
The people who don't believe in you don't deserve to be with you,
my love will shine through their disbelief and find its way through.

All this silence maybe is why you don't know the way I feel
but will you accept my love unconditionally.
Your heart has already chosen and I'm not the type to steal,
they said silence is golden, is it really?

Dance with the devil

I stand in the corner looking for an excuse to talk to you,
looking forward to get a chance to share a drink or two.
All the guys in the room are staring at you, the atmosphere is getting thicker,
feeling like a wild west shootout, who will be the one to pull the trigger.
Enough of this waiting, its time to make my move,
I'll get you in my arms and we'll start to follow the groove.
Let the music carry the night into it's embrace,
let our heart beat and then match their pace.

why is my soul wanting to run away from itself,
am I dancing with the devil in the fires of hell?
is this the thrill people get while walking on those tightropes,
is this the calm snipers feel while stalking their targets on the scope.
The music is just driving me more into this abyss,
I didn't feel like this even during my first kiss.
You smile and let me know that you're having a good time,
i'm sure if I ask for more of that, I wouldn't be charged for a crime.